i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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