i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
