If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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