the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
