I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
