they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize