We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
