There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
