I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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