i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
