worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
false alarm, still single
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