I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Are my feet made of real feet?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
