Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
