I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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