Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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