Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
