u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize