I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
