You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
