Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
