dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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