yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
