I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
