my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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