they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
