I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
