Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
