He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
