i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
