Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
