We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We named our party play list daddy issues
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
