Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
And then he peed in my hair
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