I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
