WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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