That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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