I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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