we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
barbara walters just said penis...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
