what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
