Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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