Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my shit smells like andre
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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