): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
