just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
