You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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