You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize