Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
