i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Someone shit on the floor
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
