That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
