I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
