thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
