I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
