I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Is Oprah even human
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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