Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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