Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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