all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
