So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
