I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
