if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
