her vagina looked like bernie madoff
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
