It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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