Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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